if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize