there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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