You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I stole a fireplace last night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
