I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
