You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
