Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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