This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
