hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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