Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
it glows. i had to have it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
