Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
