I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
