thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
