I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
