whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
