So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
