my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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