playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
