hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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