alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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