How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I bet he comes in French.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
