I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
