We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
