All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
