Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
