I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
