Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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