Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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