porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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