It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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