I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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