I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
