Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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