he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
