After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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