Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
