are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
