Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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