Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
