We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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