dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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