Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
