I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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