Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
