If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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