I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
