epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My dick has a subreddit
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
