People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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