It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
