dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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