You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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