I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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