The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
